Dear Senate President,
My name is Lere Olayinka, a friend of the Irunmales of Oke Agbonna in Okemesi Ekiti, Ekiti State.
I woke up today, to be told by the Irunmales that Adams Aliyu Oshiomhole, that Iyamho, Edo man that was boasting up and down that he was going to remove you as Senate President has done Ben Johnson, Carl Levis as well as Usain Bolt and landed in USA just because he was grilled twice by the DSS.
I was also told that men of the DSS are still waiting for him to return to Nija. They want to keep questioning him till he vomits what he ate and what he did not eat, even including his intestine. Haba! They want to use his proud eyes to scratch ground (won fe fi oju e gbo le).
One of the Irunmales told me in confidence that you are the one he (Oshiomhole) offended. I asked the offence he committed and I was told he dared you, telling you that he will remove you from the position that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala)
For this, angry 777 Alfas in Ilorin are still reporting him to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala). Also, some of your supporters took his matter to Oke Sobi (Sobi Hill) and Odo Oyun (River Oyun).
For Adams Aliyu Oshiomhole, things have fallen apart, the center is no longer holding and he is no longer at ease. They said he ran to USA to cool his hot head and to at least have small erection for that his yellow pawpaw wife that a certain Agbegilere known as Rochas Okorocha has been using koloro eyes to look.
I am beginning to have pity on the man, especially because of his only foreign investment.
I am therefore begging you to forgive and forget. Aimo lo nse Aliyu. He thought he was still an Obioma in the labour union.
My Distinguished Senate President, I am on my bended knees, please forgive Adams Aliyu Oshiomhole. Kindly instruct those Ilorin Alfas to stop reminding Allah his sins.
Omo Baba Oloye, tell your supporters to appeal to those gods of Odo Oyun and Oke Sobi, beg Afonja omo Morilewa and Shehu Alimi to forgive Adams Aliyu Oshiomhole. He must have learnt his lessons and he will never be rude to his seniors again.
I am sure when he returns from where he ran to, he will come to you to apologise properly and probably bring nkan etutu (objects for sacrifice) and tuuba for the people of Ilorin Afonja o ni Quran.
Thank you sir.
1, Irunmale Avenue,
Agbonna Hilltop, Okemesi Ekiti